NO to overextending myself.
NO to using busy-ness as an excuse.
NO to forsaking friendships and falling out of touch because i don't have time.
NO to booking every hour and minute of my week, my month, my semester.
NO to security...& YES to trusting God's provision.
i spent most of last night going through my schedule for the next semester, and quickly went into panic mode. assuming that i would become a manager at work, i created a hypothetical schedule accordingly...and i freaked out.
hypothetically, i'd have to be up and at work by 5:30 two mornings of the week. i'd be taking 17 units - 17 very difficult upper-division units. i'd have absolutely no free time between the hours of 9AM and 5PM to run errands, go grocery shopping, do my laundry, run to the post office or the bank, or clean my apartment. sleep would be limited, quality time with travis and friends drastically reduced, and quiet time to rest almost non-existent.
i lived that life a year ago, and i learned my lesson. REST is so important. time to be still and be refreshed. time to engage in conversation with good friends. time to build into my relationship. time to talk on the phone with my family or skype with my sister. time to support my best friend as she heads into marriage. those things are important to me. much more important than a bigger paycheck.
so, as i walked into my interview this morning, covered in prayer and confident in God's plan, i simply said 'no.'
no, i can't take the manager position.
no, i can't work 30+ hours a week and go to school full-time.
no, i will not let work consume my life and take energy away from my other commitments.
no, i will not do my work halfheartedly for lack of energy and strength.
and you know what? i'm totally fine with it. i have no idea what tomorrow will look like, next week, much less this semester yet, but i'm not panicking.
God honors our willingness to put Him first, whether that's through our service to Him, commitments we've made, or our relationships. i'm simply trusting that He'll hold up His end and provide in every circumstance.
'trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. in ALL yours ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.'