crumbling

sometimes, i just want to escape. everything suddenly hits me ,and i feel overwhelmed, incapable, inept, and utterly exhausted. a friend requesting an e-mail suddenly becomes just one more thing to put on the list. for a couple of hours, i'm absolutely burnt out. the things i absolutely love most become chores. i love church and serving on leadership, but sometimes, it's just too much. i love spending time with people and having coffee dates, but sometimes, i feel like i just can't have one more deep conversation without falling apart. i love spending time with loved ones, but sometimes, the thought of curling up in bed and just sleeping sounds so much nicer. sometimes, i just can't do everything.

i wouldn't categorize myself as an insanely busy person this semester, but God has continued placing opportunity up opportunity into my life; i am so grateful for those chances, but they're also risky. sometimes i feel like everyone is watching, and i am this close to falling flat on my face. i'm constantly constantly learning. learning what it means to be a good friend, a better girlfriend, an emotional support for my engaged best friend, a good sister, a helpful leader, an involved servant.

ever just feel pulled in a million directions? when i'm this close to snapping, all i want is just to escape here:

giving thanks | day two

yesterday, i was simply thankful for time. this morning, T left for an overnight backpacking trip with the Pursuit guys. this trip has been his baby for the last couple of months, and yesterday, the day before the 'manventure' finally arrived, was a day of all days. he had so much to do, and i knew he did, so going into the day, i worked my schedule around so that i could spend the afternoon and evening helping him with whatever he needed. if you know anything about me, or about us, it's that we are both busy people, and unfortunately that means our schedules often clash. but sometimes, everything just works out. i was simply thankful that this week was a little easier for me so that i could give my time to whatever T needed - amongst midterms, manventure, and a day of 'sick in bed,' there was a lot to do. two wheatgrass and coldbuster runs to jamba, a morning run to starbs to fuel the boy with caffeine as he studied, and sharing a car as his brakes got fixed where all highlights of my week - does that sound weird? i love loving on him. actions and words are most definitely my love languages. i'm a martha, not a mary - sometimes it gets out of hand, i'll admit, but i'm grateful for opportunities to serve and to love through time and service.

oh and p.s. because of CSULB's scheduling this next week, i officially have 6 days off of school (SO thankful for that!). i hardly know what to do with myself. time to plan another adventure!

giving thanks | day one

so i stole this idea from a friend and am going to pick something to be thankful for every single day. november shouldn't be the exception - we should always be thankful - but since it is the season, here we go.

this morning, i'm thankful for many many things, but i'll just pick 2: the Word of God & a love that deepens every single day.

mornings quietly spent in the Word are so precious to me. sometimes i forget that, and so i forget to spend that time aside. but when i wake up, grab my journal and Bible, and head to the couch in my comfies, i have a few minutes of refreshment to kick off the day just right. for the last few weeks or so, T and i have been focusing on 1 Peter, memorizing bits of it, reading different sections, and reading it together. this morning, i revisited the entire book, and people, let me tell ya - Peter has some great things to say. this verse, concerning women and their beauty, has always been one of my favorites:

'wives, be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. for this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.'

isn't it fantastic that words written thousands of years ago still hold so much relevance to today? God's word is timeless.

today, i'm also thankful for the gift of love i've been given, a love that deepens every day and only becomes stronger and truer. i'm thankful for a man who i can respect, look up to, admire, and be proud of. i'm thankful for a man who is so worthy of respect, and yet never believes he deserves it. his humility makes him even greater, and i am learning so much from him.

happy november

people, the holidays are approaching, and i am one happy happy girl! hello jackets, scarves, boots, apple cider, red and yellow leaves, holiday music, gift buying, snuggly movie days, comfort food, and love. 

i have been all over pinterest today, and every picture of comfy socks and coffee mugs and ice skating is just driving me crazy. it's truly the most wonderful time of the year! 

happy red cup season, happy november, and happy holiday season (almost)!