tonight i watched a chick flick for the first time in a long time, like a very long time. you just can't go wrong with Nicholas Sparks. T would have rolled his eyes the entire time while he begrudgingly watched with me - ha, no let's be real, a chick flick wouldn't have even been an option - but he's out of town this weekend, so i am seizing my girly opportunity.
let me tell you, i get very productive when that man of mine is out of town. today i finished my thesis, put together a decent amount of my portfolio, ran errands, ironed the dresses that have been hanging on my closet for weeks, made lunch and dinner, and cozied in for a movie with plenty of time to spare. the apartment is vacuumed and dusted, my car is clean, and i got a perfect 8 hours of sleep last night. i feel good. but i am also missing T very much. above all, he's my best friend, and i miss having someone to share accomplishments with, someone to snuggle up to, to talk with throughout the day, to make plans with. i'm savoring this weekend to check things off the list and catch up on life a little, but i can't wait for him to be home tomorrow evening.
things have been really crazy lately. this morning, i finally woke up feeling more rested than i have in weeks - the fan was softly blowing, the sun was streaming in, my sheets were all comfy and tangled - and then the worries crept in. no, they didn't creep, they just appeared, suddenly and loudly.
about a week ago, i learned that i need to move out and find a new place within the next 30 days. add that to the list of school work as i approach graduation, finals, commencement ceremonies, work, my mom visiting from out of town, and wedding planning, i almost had a panic attack when i heard the news. but i accepted it as graciously as calmly as i could and immediately surrendered it to God - a few times. by the time i had to talk to Travis about it, i was at peace, knowing God would provide. but then this morning, worries came out of no where.
what about a bed? does that mean you guys have to go bed shopping within the next month too? are you going to sleep in your big married bed before the wedding? before Travis moves in? so you might sleep on a floor for a while. and what about furniture? a table? pots and pans for the kitchen? silverware? dishes? you have nothing, deb. remember, you sold it all when you moved out of the apartment because you thought the next time you moved, the wedding wouldn't be far away. and if your move out date is at the end of may, but you only start renting on the first of june, what will you do? maybe you can stay an extra day or two. but the day after move-out day is your bridal shower. but that's good, right? hopefully you'll get a few things for the house. and what about money? you guys hardly have any right now, and life just feels like one expense after another at the moment. you won't have money to pay for an extra two month's rent, on top of furnishing the apartment, will you? maybe you could crash at a friend's, like you did last summer for a little while. but then you'd have to move, and then move again, within just a little over a month, and you're tired of moving. absolutely done with it. and what about a refrigerator? hopefully you find a place that already includes one, because that's another expense, and another big item to hunt down and purchase.
all of that, within five minutes of waking up. and in between the questions and the doubts, i constantly tried to give to to Jesus. i desperately clung to the promise that He provide. and i believe He will, i just have no idea what provision will look like within the next month. but He is good, and He is faithful, and that is Truth.
next weekend we start apartment hunting - pray we find something affordable, but cozy, in a good location, something that's available within the next month, and maybe a place with a refrigerator! ;]