January 21, 2011

a girl's thoughts on {guys & girls}.

a few days i told you love is a funny thing. well today, i'm going to let you in on a little secret: girls are a funny thing. in fact, we're ridiculous. it's not such a secret after all.

fun fact about deb: i am the queen of unrequited love. the queen. don't fight me. don't try to dethrone me. i've claimed it. but the last year has been a serious wake up call...where do we, as girls, place our worth? where do we find it? do we allow others to define us? do we allow our feelings to rule us? why why why do we doubt ourselves when time & time again God so desperately tries to show us that He is madly, deeply, & passionately in love with us? seriously, what's our problem?

this message is for the all the beautiful women i know. women who are funny, smart, silly, talented, Godly, inspiring, & dear friends. women who doubt themselves, who don't see what i see, what others see, and what God sees. but at the same time, this message is for the boys, the ones who impact us in ways we can't even imagine. the ones who can break our hearts, heal our hearts, romance our hearts, & protect our hearts.

God has crazy good things in store. honestly, i don't know who's going to read this, but whoever it is, this message is for you. you are incredible. you are here for a reason. you are you for a reason. you are cherished. you are irreplaceable. you are loved. it must break God's heart to see us doubt that.


hear this. in the past month God has shown me some wild things, and for some reason, i can't help but spill them out for everyone to hear. i wish i could spare you the pain of rejection, the self-doubt, the stupid crushes that do nothing but mess with our heads & hurt our hearts. that cute guy you're madly in love with? he's not for you. and if he is, he's not for you right now. character is so much more important than his good looks, his lopsided his smile, his smiling eyes, and his great back. yes, back. does he live with integrity? does he look out for the weaker ones? does he talk with God, daily, intimately, & devotedly? does he serve? does he remember what you told him yesterday? does he ask you about your day? does he respect you? does he treat you as a sister? unromantically, does he protect you, look out for you, honor you? is he a friend? someone you can laugh with, play with, someone who draws you out? because if he's not those things, he's not God's will for your life, at least not now. love is so much more than an obsessive crush.

love is something that will carry us through for the rest of our lives. if that boy isn't those things, then i encourage you, as a single girl myself, to wait patiently. that boy might not give you the time of day, but God is daily pursuing you. He is captivated by you. He loves you in your sweats, without your makeup on, in your silliest moments, in your most vulnerable moments. He sees the things that others fail to notice. He laughs at the corny joke you just made & has already forgotten that dumb thing you did yesterday (that you're probably still beating yourself up about). you know why? because He's enchanted by you, and there is nothing you can do to make Him fall out of love with you. not. one. thing. that boy? he has no idea what he's missing, but when the boy shows up, he will fall in love with you because you are madly in love with God. make that your life. cultivate Godly beauty. become that (proverbs 31) woman.


i hope you didn't skip those last two paragraphs, because they're the most vulnerable look you'll get into a girl's heart. you want to know something? i am incredibly grateful for you, whoever you are. yes guys make us so mad, confuse us, irritate us, and keep us up at night, but you guys are the highlight of God's creation. you are our rescuers. if anything, a girl wants to feel safe with a guy. we are so fragile, even if we don't show it, so easily broken, and more than anything, we want to be cradled and cherished. as much as we strive to find that rest in the arms of God, you are as close to it as we'll get on earth. if we are all created in God's image, then you, men, are God's warrior side. you are fighters, protectors, insanely jealous, and incredibly loving. you are the complete opposite of us, our perfect puzzle piece. even if you don't know it, we look up to you.

believe me, girls are a basket case, and as independent & strong & intimidating as that girl seems to be, she is waiting for you to break down those walls, either by crashing through them or patiently climbing them. please, don't let them hinder you. after years of rejection, self-doubt, and inner struggle, those walls are the only protection we have. they're not there to shut out; they are there to test. will you be the guy to show strength, courage, patience, and enduring love? will you be the one to tear down our walls, take us by the hand, and show us a side of God we never knew? will you love us, wholly, completely, and forever?

on behalf of many girls though, i'd like to apologize to you. i know that we've forgotten our role as Godly women, and in the meantime, we have hurt you, injured your pride, undermined your manhood, and stripped you of the things we need you to be. so please, step up & show us what we've been missing. encourage us to be Godly women. help us to encourage you to be Godly men. we need you, we really do. don't let society's "independent woman" fad kid you. we need real men.

i found this passage in a book the other day, and i absolutely loved it, so i'm going to close with this:

[eve was not taken out of adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him]

let's be the people God intended us to be.

1 comment:

  1. mmmmm... good post Debbie. made me sweat from the eyes a bit... especially that ninth paragraph.

    I totally skipped the two paragraphs for the girls cuz I was being lazy then went back and read them cuz the blog told me to.

    It's funny though, we'll post some of this stuff for all to see, when most of all we are often really just concerned with one person reading it; and yet so often that person never reads it. Sometimes I think all we're concerned with is attention as opposed to authenticity and character. Such is the way of this generation I guess. I just hope the girls that read this really take what you wrote to heart because you're right on.

    "...thank God my rib's the best part of me." - Lecrae