instalife: january thoughts

there always comes a point where things just can't get much worse. that's how the end of 2013 felt. like the bottom, the end of the rope. we didn't know how much more we could handle, and we had no idea when things would start to turn around. and when life feels lowest, there's nothing left to do but surrender. as hard as you might try to keep control, no matter how many lists you write, how well you organize your time, or how hard you try to keep that smile on your face, eventually it's clearly time to let go. and miraculously, without fail, God steps in, and He starts moving. 

january has looked like a lot of praying, praising, brainstorming, and occasionally butting heads. we've spent several evenings around our giant chalkboard writing down everything in our hearts, all of our worries, all of our dreams. and after we'd identified those dreams, it was time to start taking baby steps toward those goals. 

i'm excited about my business, excited about Travis' future as he pursues his career, excited to finish my credential, excited about the changes we know are coming. there are still deep desires that ache within us - the desire for community, for rich and deep friendships, the desire to eventually move and live in a place we love. we're taking baby steps toward those, too. right now, we're in the here & now. everyone  who knows me knows that i'm a planner; i'm always counting down to the next big thing. but i'm learning how to live today, because i'm not exactly sure what next week, next month, next year will look like. and i'm learning to be ok with that, to find joy in it. 

it's been the little things this month, too. renewing my library card and checking out stacks of books. a red-eye drive up the i-5 to snuggle with our new niece and spend time at home. homemade and husband-made sweet treats. a date night or two. the longer evenings. a love note here and there. dinner with new friends. an evening of cooking & baking family recipes. a quiet morning with a new book. i'm learning to savor life. drink in the fresh air, feel the breeze as it drifts through our home, pause and admire the sunset. every day is showered with gifts. drink it all in today, friends. 

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@debbie_gilley