unending love, amazing grace

i wish i had something super exciting to write about, but the oh-so-glamorous life of a college student about to head into finals week means, things aren't super thrilling around here.

most fabulous thing of my day? a guilt-free two hour nap. praise the Lord.

oh a deeper note though, lately, i've been feeling distant and disconnected. call it burnt out, call it whatever you will. distant from God, distant from friends, distant from responsibilities. i think i just need a break. i'm so thankful for this holiday season (i can't wait for school to be done so i can fully enjoy it!) - it makes me reflect and ponder all the wonderful things the Lord has done this past year, and believe me, it's been a big year.

today i wish had a more God-focused heart, to see His fingerprints everywhere and be in constant prayer and see people as loved by Him, instead of just getting so easily annoyed.

i've been spending a lot of time in romans the last few days, probably because i desperately need to be reminded of grace lately. i've messed up, quite a bit, in a few different ways, and yet, God is SO faithful and loving. it's unfathomable. the other weekend in church, jeff turner said that it's impossible for God to not love us. it would go against His very nature. there is nothing we can do to make Him stop loving us. that is incredible love.

"therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

"the law was added so that trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

romans 5

i love...

you know that feeling, when you catch your best friend and your boyfriend chatting about something, and then your bestie grunts "go away!" and the boy gives you the "you're so not welcome here right now" look?


oh i freaking love surprises!

thanksgiving

T kindly observed last night that i haven't blogged in quite a while - i know. it's been forever. believe me, it's not because life has been boring, but because there's been SO much happening that i just can't keep up!

first of all, happy december! have i told you lately how much i love the holidays? unfortunately, this sunny socal weather isn't really putting me in the christmas mood yet, but i'm crazy about christmas songs and carols, holiday drinks & red cups, decorating, going shopping, making gifts, and spreading christmas cheer. it's truly the most wonderful time of the year! this year i upgraded from dorm decor and got to decorate my first apartment ever. SO fun! and since i'm totally a coupon fan now, i saved tons on all my new decor. it's a win-win situation.

i can't believe thanksgiving was only a week ago too! this year was a little different, but definitely worth it. instead of flying home like i usually do, i spent thanksgiving here in long beach with T's family. mom-bonding over preparation, cooking, and decorating was so fun, and the end result was spectacular! the food was delicious (but i never eat enough ;]), the company was wonderful, and i have so much to be thankful for. going home alone at the end of the night was by far my least favorite part of the day. there's nothing festive about a quiet, empty apartment, but that's part of growing up right? i'm so excited to be going home for christmas though, and so excited that T gets to come up and spend a week traipsing around norcal with me and the family! woohoo!

since we celebrated thanksgiving on wednesday, that meant we both had all of thursday off, so in typically t & d fashion, we went on an adventure and went SNOWBOARDING together. so super fun - & a little painful. we got up early and spent the morning taking cheesy scenic pictures and strolling around the most adorable little christmas town. we ate fudge and drank a cappuccino and window shopped and just relaxed before we hit the slopes. it was a perfect escape.

so many other fabulous things have been happening lately...but for now, it's time to enjoy a work free and school free friday! have a happy weekend friends!

crumbling

sometimes, i just want to escape. everything suddenly hits me ,and i feel overwhelmed, incapable, inept, and utterly exhausted. a friend requesting an e-mail suddenly becomes just one more thing to put on the list. for a couple of hours, i'm absolutely burnt out. the things i absolutely love most become chores. i love church and serving on leadership, but sometimes, it's just too much. i love spending time with people and having coffee dates, but sometimes, i feel like i just can't have one more deep conversation without falling apart. i love spending time with loved ones, but sometimes, the thought of curling up in bed and just sleeping sounds so much nicer. sometimes, i just can't do everything.

i wouldn't categorize myself as an insanely busy person this semester, but God has continued placing opportunity up opportunity into my life; i am so grateful for those chances, but they're also risky. sometimes i feel like everyone is watching, and i am this close to falling flat on my face. i'm constantly constantly learning. learning what it means to be a good friend, a better girlfriend, an emotional support for my engaged best friend, a good sister, a helpful leader, an involved servant.

ever just feel pulled in a million directions? when i'm this close to snapping, all i want is just to escape here:

giving thanks | day two

yesterday, i was simply thankful for time. this morning, T left for an overnight backpacking trip with the Pursuit guys. this trip has been his baby for the last couple of months, and yesterday, the day before the 'manventure' finally arrived, was a day of all days. he had so much to do, and i knew he did, so going into the day, i worked my schedule around so that i could spend the afternoon and evening helping him with whatever he needed. if you know anything about me, or about us, it's that we are both busy people, and unfortunately that means our schedules often clash. but sometimes, everything just works out. i was simply thankful that this week was a little easier for me so that i could give my time to whatever T needed - amongst midterms, manventure, and a day of 'sick in bed,' there was a lot to do. two wheatgrass and coldbuster runs to jamba, a morning run to starbs to fuel the boy with caffeine as he studied, and sharing a car as his brakes got fixed where all highlights of my week - does that sound weird? i love loving on him. actions and words are most definitely my love languages. i'm a martha, not a mary - sometimes it gets out of hand, i'll admit, but i'm grateful for opportunities to serve and to love through time and service.

oh and p.s. because of CSULB's scheduling this next week, i officially have 6 days off of school (SO thankful for that!). i hardly know what to do with myself. time to plan another adventure!

giving thanks | day one

so i stole this idea from a friend and am going to pick something to be thankful for every single day. november shouldn't be the exception - we should always be thankful - but since it is the season, here we go.

this morning, i'm thankful for many many things, but i'll just pick 2: the Word of God & a love that deepens every single day.

mornings quietly spent in the Word are so precious to me. sometimes i forget that, and so i forget to spend that time aside. but when i wake up, grab my journal and Bible, and head to the couch in my comfies, i have a few minutes of refreshment to kick off the day just right. for the last few weeks or so, T and i have been focusing on 1 Peter, memorizing bits of it, reading different sections, and reading it together. this morning, i revisited the entire book, and people, let me tell ya - Peter has some great things to say. this verse, concerning women and their beauty, has always been one of my favorites:

'wives, be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. for this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.'

isn't it fantastic that words written thousands of years ago still hold so much relevance to today? God's word is timeless.

today, i'm also thankful for the gift of love i've been given, a love that deepens every day and only becomes stronger and truer. i'm thankful for a man who i can respect, look up to, admire, and be proud of. i'm thankful for a man who is so worthy of respect, and yet never believes he deserves it. his humility makes him even greater, and i am learning so much from him.

happy november

people, the holidays are approaching, and i am one happy happy girl! hello jackets, scarves, boots, apple cider, red and yellow leaves, holiday music, gift buying, snuggly movie days, comfort food, and love. 

i have been all over pinterest today, and every picture of comfy socks and coffee mugs and ice skating is just driving me crazy. it's truly the most wonderful time of the year! 

happy red cup season, happy november, and happy holiday season (almost)!