crumbling

sometimes, i just want to escape. everything suddenly hits me ,and i feel overwhelmed, incapable, inept, and utterly exhausted. a friend requesting an e-mail suddenly becomes just one more thing to put on the list. for a couple of hours, i'm absolutely burnt out. the things i absolutely love most become chores. i love church and serving on leadership, but sometimes, it's just too much. i love spending time with people and having coffee dates, but sometimes, i feel like i just can't have one more deep conversation without falling apart. i love spending time with loved ones, but sometimes, the thought of curling up in bed and just sleeping sounds so much nicer. sometimes, i just can't do everything.

i wouldn't categorize myself as an insanely busy person this semester, but God has continued placing opportunity up opportunity into my life; i am so grateful for those chances, but they're also risky. sometimes i feel like everyone is watching, and i am this close to falling flat on my face. i'm constantly constantly learning. learning what it means to be a good friend, a better girlfriend, an emotional support for my engaged best friend, a good sister, a helpful leader, an involved servant.

ever just feel pulled in a million directions? when i'm this close to snapping, all i want is just to escape here: