learning to say 'NO'

this morning was a huge stepping stone in learning to say NO to things.

NO to overextending myself.
NO to using busy-ness as an excuse.
NO to forsaking friendships and falling out of touch because i don't have time.
NO to booking every hour and minute of my week, my month, my semester.
NO to security...& YES to trusting God's provision.

i spent most of last night going through my schedule for the next semester, and quickly went into panic mode. assuming that i would become a manager at work, i created a hypothetical schedule accordingly...and i freaked out.

hypothetically, i'd have to be up and at work by 5:30 two mornings of the week. i'd be taking 17 units - 17 very difficult upper-division units. i'd have absolutely no free time between the hours of 9AM and 5PM to run errands, go grocery shopping, do my laundry, run to the post office or the bank, or clean my apartment. sleep would be limited, quality time with travis and friends drastically reduced, and quiet time to rest almost non-existent.

i lived that life a year ago, and i learned my lesson. REST is so important. time to be still and be refreshed. time to engage in conversation with good friends. time to build into my relationship. time to talk on the phone with my family or skype with my sister. time to support my best friend as she heads into marriage. those things are important to me. much more important than a bigger paycheck.

so, as i walked into my interview this morning, covered in prayer and confident in God's plan, i simply said 'no.'

no, i can't take the manager position.
no, i can't work 30+ hours a week and go to school full-time.
no, i will not let work consume my life and take energy away from my other commitments.
no, i will not do my work halfheartedly for lack of energy and strength.

and you know what? i'm totally fine with it. i have no idea what tomorrow will look like, next week, much less this semester yet, but i'm not panicking.

God honors our willingness to put Him first, whether that's through our service to Him, commitments we've made, or our relationships. i'm simply trusting that He'll hold up His end and provide in every circumstance.

'trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. in ALL yours ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.'

norcal vacation-ing: day 2

tuesday of our little getaway was the 27th, which just so happens to be our monthiversary. i can't believe it's already been 10 months, and how quickly a year is coming up on us. i remember everything like it was yesterday, and i'm truly only falling in love with T more and more every day - a deeper, truer, unending kind of love. we started the morning at caffe santoro, a little coffeeshop just 10 minutes away from my house, owned by my high school friend's dad. the owner is part of the church just up the street, and there is such a sense of community and small-town-ness in the caffe. i absolutely love that about home. we spent some time in the Word together, took pictures, and just absolutely relaxed. i love love LOVE coffeeshop mornings!

one of my favorite things about up north is how much space there is. space for giant oak trees, big back yards, and vast skies. i love that we have to work outside to maintain what's ours - whether that's chopping down trees, splitting wood, shoveling manure, cleaning the barn, trimming the hedges, or mowing the lawn, the space forces us to be outside. and it's beautiful. at home we have a little (powerful) woodstove, so every winter we need to be prepared with plenty of wood. from moving it, to splitting logs twice my size, stacking it, and then chopping it for kindling, i know wood. and i love it. at the same time though, i am super thankful that there's another guy around now to help out with things like that. what a blessing. and i love T's willing and helpful heart, especially to help my mom with whatever she needs. i am so thankful for their relationship. he's simply an extension of our family, and he is so loved by all of them.

beautiful mama

yes please.

on tuesday night, we had dinner with my best friend's family. her fiance is currently visiting as well, and it was such a joy having all of us around the dinner table, laughing, talking, and catching up. so much change is happening this year (they're getting married next month!), but i am looking forward to every bit of it. her family is my second family, and i'm so grateful for their friendship over the years. les' fiance wes and T bonded over immature guy things, but seeing them get along brought joy to both les and i...so much joy that we left the table and their gross conversation to have some grown-up girl speak in the living room ;] i wish i had photos of that night, but the time just got away from me! and i was enjoying every bit of it too much to whip out my camera...

but truly, by tuesday, i felt like i was home again. and you know what's funny? i could see us living a life like that. away from the city, in a smaller town, close to those we love, spending time with others. wouldn't it be magical...