GOODBYE, APRIL!

last night, i was scrolling through my instagram feed and told travis that i love instagram because it's like a little journal of my life. those little squares reflect life's little in-betweens, the things i usually wouldn't slow down to notice but have now become essential to my every day. this month has been a blur, and i can hardly believe may is just around the corner! while things have been insanely busy as the semester winds down, i'm happy to announce that the end is in sight, and summer is almost here. praise the Lamb. 

our april has looked a lot like adding some finishing touches to our home, taking motorcycle rides together (LOVE!)...

...getting back into the habit of establishing a regular quiet time in my day (it's always the first thing to go, and i want to make it a habit in my life)...

...a quick visit home, including some FABULOUS photoshoots and a celebration of my dad's life on the tenth anniversary of his passing...

...our family visiting for a few days over their spring break and a trip to disneyland together (WOOHOO!)...

...and more learning about each other, making the most of our time together when we have it, my first Pedro's Taco experience (THE BOMB), a baby shower, dreaming about where we're headed in the next year or so, and evaluating how and where we're investing our time and love into. i feel like we're in a constant season of growth and refining, and there are days where i'd really like to be done with all of that. but, God never promised us a comfortable routine and security. He has only promised that He's already ahead of us and that He holds our life in His loving and faithful hands. and that's all we need. 

i hope you all had a wonderful month - cheers to may! 

follow along with daily bits of life on instagram: @debbie_gilley

instalife: january thoughts

there always comes a point where things just can't get much worse. that's how the end of 2013 felt. like the bottom, the end of the rope. we didn't know how much more we could handle, and we had no idea when things would start to turn around. and when life feels lowest, there's nothing left to do but surrender. as hard as you might try to keep control, no matter how many lists you write, how well you organize your time, or how hard you try to keep that smile on your face, eventually it's clearly time to let go. and miraculously, without fail, God steps in, and He starts moving. 

january has looked like a lot of praying, praising, brainstorming, and occasionally butting heads. we've spent several evenings around our giant chalkboard writing down everything in our hearts, all of our worries, all of our dreams. and after we'd identified those dreams, it was time to start taking baby steps toward those goals. 

i'm excited about my business, excited about Travis' future as he pursues his career, excited to finish my credential, excited about the changes we know are coming. there are still deep desires that ache within us - the desire for community, for rich and deep friendships, the desire to eventually move and live in a place we love. we're taking baby steps toward those, too. right now, we're in the here & now. everyone  who knows me knows that i'm a planner; i'm always counting down to the next big thing. but i'm learning how to live today, because i'm not exactly sure what next week, next month, next year will look like. and i'm learning to be ok with that, to find joy in it. 

it's been the little things this month, too. renewing my library card and checking out stacks of books. a red-eye drive up the i-5 to snuggle with our new niece and spend time at home. homemade and husband-made sweet treats. a date night or two. the longer evenings. a love note here and there. dinner with new friends. an evening of cooking & baking family recipes. a quiet morning with a new book. i'm learning to savor life. drink in the fresh air, feel the breeze as it drifts through our home, pause and admire the sunset. every day is showered with gifts. drink it all in today, friends. 

let's connect on instagram!

@debbie_gilley

the holidays in instagram

whew, did anyone else feel like we just whipped through the holidays and were hurled right into the new year? december is just one big blur to me, but thankfully, my iphone was there to capture little moments that i might have otherwise forgotten. 

it was our first christmas together, and though not everything went like we had planned or maybe wanted it to, it was nevertheless magical. there is so much joy in decorating your home for the holidays together, walking around Naples & Torrance to see the christmas lights, snuggling in for endless holiday movies (i feel like i didn't watch enough and am tempted to keep watching them through January ;]), and listening to every christmas song at least a dozen times throughout the month. most of all, i was reminded of how deeply deeply blessed we are. even when things feel rough, we still have food to eat, time to be together, a roof over our heads, and family and friends we love. 

top left, clockwise: jen hatmaker is my jam. seriously, grab her books; my DIY christmas wreath!; i LOVED receiving so many holiday cards from my clients this year! it brightens my heart to see touch and feel these images; that one time my husband came home from work with this gorgeous bouquet in his hands (husband points, am i right?)

top right, clockwise: we might not have a backyard, but we have a backstep and a little greenway so hey, why not eat lunch outside on a sunny december day?!; wrapping up the semester with projects, finals, and coffee; we strung these lights in our bedroom for kicks, and i swear they are not coming down now - we love 'em!; my last day of BLAST - what a truly awesome experience! 

top right, clockwise: mornings are my favorite; a solo sunday at church; our best friends rachel & ryan came to visit after christmas and it was THE BEST. we adore those two and are so grateful for them; oh just jen, messing up my life again in ridiculously good ways.

top right, clockwise: driving home to visit the family for christmas; the american river and old town folsom gave us a beautiful afternoon date, where we also scouted out some apartments and places to move this fall - we're excited! 

top right, clockwise: we received some of the cutest ornaments for christmas! we can't wait to add them to our tree next year; strolling around Naples (one of our favorite holiday dates); strolling through folsom; we loved our christmas tree this year - that it was standing by the front window made it even better! 

that one time the common head cold visited our house for over a week. we have never eaten so much chicken noodle soup (home made, delish), watched as many episodes of LOST (addicting), or spent that much time on the couch before. needless to say, NYE was almost non-existent and new year's day was nothing but resting and staying home. but, nothing made me happier than having that guy by my side, no matter how congested and sneezy we were! 

top right, clockwise: mornings; headed out to date night in the midst of a nightmare work week - Travis was scheduled for almost 100 hours in 9 days straight, and has been working non-stop. it's been really rough and has taken away so much of his free time (literally, we wake up, he goes to work, he comes home, and we go to bed), but we made the most of this sunday night with a movie (GO SEE WALTER MITTY), pieology, and drinks (i've never ordered a drink at a bar before, so this was way fun to do together!); more gorgeous flowers that i picked out and T bought for me on our date night; BLACKFISH: watch this eye-opening documentary and think twice about enjoying Seaworld or any animal entertainment show. why are so foolish to try and tame God's powerful and intelligent creatures? heartbreaking and mindblowing.

 here's to a productive first week of the new year! 

xo. 

let's follow each other on instagram: @debbie_gilley

countdown // forty-one

this weekend was all kinds of wonderful - even the not-so-wonderful things were made good. 

i think it'd be safe to say that through our engagement we have learned more about each other, disagreed more often, loved more, cried more, and prayed more fervently than ever before. it has not been roses & glitter - but who ever said it would be, or that we were entitled to that? but it has been so good - soul good. good for me, good for you, good for us. 

friday was hard. but it ended sweetly. after the tears dried and we had let go of the stress, hurt, and misunderstanding, we were ready to be filled once again. filled first with HIS unending love. what a wake up call for me - that i often tend to depend on your love or the love of others more than that of our Heavenly Father. i haven't been feeling His love lately, i confessed. it has just felt like test after test. he tests those who he is preparing for big things, you reminded me. i nodded, knowing in my head but not feeling it in my heart. we talked about living a missional life and our mission field - not only across the world but right here, in our home, in our community. when we go out, you said, we prepare ourselves for the mission field - we don't complain, we don't whine, we are flexible and adaptable, we are fully surrendered. our marriage is also a mission, and though it will be sweet and so good, it will also be faced with challenges and obstacles perhaps designed by our Enemy to weaken us, but destined to make us stronger through the grace of our Savior. 

thank you for leading us. 

in my desperate attempt to slow time down and hold on to you before you leave, we also declared sunday a T&D day - a sacred day. a day of adventure and spontaneity. a hike through the woods, the almost fatal injury to my camera, a trip to Trader Joe's for snacks and treats, a late (LATE) movie, watching the sunset in malibu, a drive down PCH, conversations until we had no words left, a starbucks date, dinner at the diner, the good sunday morning...it was perfect. 

oh and hey, i love you. i'll miss you like crazy. 

countdown // forty-seven

hey you, 

we're getting married in 47 days, and as of today, i have 24 days of togetherness left with you before we become husband and wife - have i told you lately that i'm beyond excited? i'm pretty sure i said that at least 3 times yesterday, and maybe 7 times the day before. i just can't help it. 

thank you for a wonderful weekend at home. besides the throwing up/fever part, the chaos in the house, and the complete lack of quiet, it was still so good. thank you for always listening to what's on my heart, for never giving up on us when things are tough, and for always vowing to make it right again. thank you for understanding my need for quality time, for making it your priority as well. i want to treasure every moment of the next 12 days and hold on to those memories for the 23 days after that. they will be days of remembering you, praying for you, missing you, and eagerly anticipating your return home. 

our coffee date on sunday morning was the best moment during the weekend. i love talking about our life together, and i am so grateful that your heart seeks to follow Jesus first, no matter the cost. we're not destined for mediocre or average - we have both felt that pull in our heart for years. up to this point, we've spent our life as individuals, and in the last 2 years we've been individuals preparing for a life as one. it is my deepest hope and prayer that our together and forever life is one that brings magnificent glory to our King, that it is a testament of His power and purpose in our life. we are called to this, called to marriage. what a gift, that God delights in our love and created it for His glory. what a win-win. 

whether we adopt, serve in local organizations, lead others, go out onto the mission field, feed the hungry, shelter the homeless, work in our careers, or raise a family, all of it will be for our good and for His. 

are you ready for this adventure? because i am so ready to begin it with you. 

two months

we're only two months away from the best day ever - well, even less than that actually. i just can't believe how quickly time is flying by. with every passing day, i get more and more impatient - you would slap me if you knew how many times a day i ask travis, can we please get married now?! and then, sometimes, i remember he's leaving in just over 2 weeks for 23 days, and the sadness creeps in. but God is preparing him for China, needs Him there, and i am excited for the challenge, excited to see what good things God will do. 

the last month has been out-of-this-world nuts. but this last week, things have slowed down - almost too much for my liking. my jobs now include homemaker/housewife, wedding planner, and photographer. i am home almost every day, all day - busy, but at home. after 3 years of doing work outside of the home, in an environment i often didn't like, this change is quite the switch. but it's also challenging me to use my time wisely (something i don't always do well), to rest when i can (because the good Lord didn't intend for us to wear ourselves down all day every day), and to grow in initiative and motivation. it's all good. 

after the crazy move into the apartment, it was time to go furniture shopping. before then, i never knew there was such a think as too much IKEA in a person's life, but believe me, there is. and i am cured of any IKEA withdrawals for the next year, at least. now it's the slow process of decorating and accessorizing. i am trying desperately to be patient and create a home with love and thought, not out of impatience or a need for immediate satisfaction. T and i promised each other we'd work on it together, so i am waiting as best as i can. 

in wedding news, things are finally happening - we have updates, people! there were probably at least 2 months where whenever someone asked how the wedding was coming i had absolutely nothing new to share - it was that much on the back-burner and my life was yes, that crazy. but in the last few weeks - things have start to unfold, and our creative brains are firing away, which is seriously great, considering we only have 53 days - FIFTY-THREE! praise the good Lord. 

on monday, i finally got to see my dress again after four grueling months. talk about serious withdrawals. but i put it on again, and it was even better than i remember - absolutely everything i could hope for. i can't wait to twirl and swish around in it for our entire wedding day - it is the most beautiful thing i have ever worn. and i can't WAIT for travis to see it. 

ordering envelopes, ordering invitations, addressing envelopes (my pen is out of ink), going over the guest list, contacting caterers, planning the rehearsal, writing lists, and lists, and lists, meeting with our coordinator, contacting all the vendors, and brainstorming DIY projects has consumed my life, and i'm totally ok with it. i can't wait for this day to be a reality. yet, it really still is just one day. after attending our friends' beautiful outdoor wedding this past weekend, i was reminded of that - months and months of planning end so suddenly, in the blink of an eye it seems. and the most important thing is that you're married, that you had community and family there to witness your union and celebrate, and that you enjoyed every single minute. the details? they'll fall into place. when i picture our wedding day, i just imagine being by his side, in his presence, overwhelmed with joy, smiling until my cheeks fall off, laughing out of sheer happiness, because that's how he makes me feel - always - and the rest of the world just slips away. 

i remember thinking that i would never tire of our engagement, but at this point, i am so ready to start the next chapter, to move out of this transition and on toward an inseparable life as one, forever. 

sundaygrams

this weekend, love looked like

a 2 hour car trip just to be together

taking a detour to visit one of our spots

making meatloaf for dinner

stopping at the bookstore to run an errand

butting heads, but resolving to work it out

lots of prayer

an early morning church service

spending the day apartment hunting and spending more time praying for our future

buying a latte

proofreading my thesis

pushing the grocery cart

standing in line at the theater for an hour

sneaking coffee into the movies

holding hands during the sermon

talking about the things God is doing in our life

registering

realizing our wedding day/night is less than 100 days away

grabbing mission slip letters from the church office

stealing kisses

2 years ago, i gave my first kiss to this man, a kiss i'd been saving for my whole life - i think at this moment i said, 'aren't you glad i'm a much better kisser now than i was then?' ;]

putting his hand on my knee while i drove and he read

and learning how to love more selflessly.

the greatest thing about love is that it chooses you, and you choose it in return - every day, every hour, no matter what.

standing at the spot where T asked me to be his girl over 2 years ago!

i hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

sundays

i've decided to start a little mini-series about my absolute favorite day of the week. the idea came to my while i was in church, listening to our pastor deliver, and i realized that we often hear the Word, and by the time we go to sleep on sunday night, we've forgotten everything we learned that morning. sometimes, writing things down and revisiting them later on in the day or week help me cement everything in my heart and mind. so this mini-series is a little bit for your enjoyment, hopefully, but also for me. 

yesterday was one of those sundays - you know, the kind of sunday sundays were made to be. T and i realized that we haven't had a quiet moment in God's Word together in quite a while, so we woke up bright and early and met at a local coffee shop to drink coffee, eat a bagel, and read together. it was the absolute perfect start to the day, even if we only had 30 quick minutes. 

after leading worship in the college group (i love singing and praising Jesus with him), we headed to our main service. yesterday's message was on the end of James 1 (p.s. i feel like i should re-cap last sunday, too, because it was so deeply moving - maybe in another post). we were challenged to quiet our hearts and quiet our lives down, to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. this theme of quiet-ing down has resurfaced time and time again in the last few months. in case you didn't know, i've been asked to speak at our upcoming women's retreat, and the theme for the weekend is rest - a word us women especially tend to scoff at. but as i've moved into preparing the message and preparing for the week, the Lord keeps sending me little reminders and teaching me lessons - is my heart quiet enough to hear Him, am i resting in His grace, His provision? it's a never-ending lesson. 

the second part of the message was probably where this idea came from. are we only hearers of the word, or are we also doers? how is our fruit? are we like the man, who looks at himself in the mirror and then turns away and quickly forgets his reflection?

lastly, we were challenged to live out our faith. sometimes our faith becomes so much about head knowledge, and we forget to meet the needs of those around us. James says that true religion is looking out for the widows and the orphans in their distress. as the daughter of a widow, and a half-orphan, this verse has always stuck out to me. do i pass on the love my family was shown during our time of loss to others around me? or am i keeping all those blessings to myself? 

after church, i went back into the buzzing lobby to help out with women's registration - and you guys! it's blowing up! i'm so excited. about 70 women are coming, and i am so excited to get to know each of them better, learn from them, and enjoy a weekend away with God and community. only 3 little weeks to go - which is also scary, because i still have a lot of work to do on my message. which, by the way, is also absurd - me? speaking to all kinds of women of all ages? to all of you who have been so encouraging, thank you! 

our afternoon was spent loving on sweet baby Claire and helping her parents out. she screamed, she cried, she smiled, she coo-ed, she played with us, my goodness, she's just so adorable. oh, and bless T's heart, i've officially dubbed him the Baby Whisperer. there's something to say about a man when a baby just instantly stills in his arms. i think Claire has a little crush - everyone needs a little T in their life, if you ask me ;]

on top of encouraging conversations, a spontaneous movie night, home cooked meals, smoothies to cool us down on another hot day, and a tiny bit of homework, yesterday was filled with beauty and joy, endless smiles and much-needed rest. i couldn't have asked for a better day off. 

xoxo,

deb