our word for 2014: deep

in 2012, i began the year seeking contentment. it was a year where many of my friends were experiencing exciting life changes, and my year felt pretty predictable. until december 23rd that is - the day T asked me to be his wife. and that launched us into 2013, which we knew would be a whirlwind year. we knew it would be easy to get caught up in the wedding, in the changes, and so we chose simplify to be the word for 2013. though i definitely embraced simplicity during this past year, and have learned to filter my purchases and my decisions through the "need" filter rather than fulfilling my "wants," we're ending this year on what feels like the edge of a precipice. we're ready to jump and go deeper. 

if i'm being honest, these past few months, maybe this past year, has felt dry. in many ways, this has been the best year of our life - traveling, getting married, building a home together, drawing closer to each other. but in some ways, i've never felt lonelier. we're surrounded by people and our life feels endlessly busy, full of responsibilities and daily obligations. but there is no depth. it's as if we've hit a plateau, just going through the motions but maybe completely missing the point. the point, after all, is Jesus, and if i reflect back on this year, it kills me to say that this hasn't been a year of huge spiritual growth for me. there have moments where i've been challenged, things that have caught my heart, but then i just sank back into the same old routine. i am so desperate for a change, restless for growth. so, as we approach new year's eve, we're questioning - are we really where God wants us to be? are we investing in the things He truly cares about? are we serving in the right ways? are we led by the Spirit? 

or, are we striving in our flesh? driven by the "yes's" and "no's" of the people around us? doing what "seems" and "feels" right, rather than persistently seeking the will of God? and what even is His will? 

this year is going to require diligence and obedience (two things i'm not really an expert in, so let's go God). we're starting back at the basics - reading through the Gospels and studying Jesus' ministry and then asking ourselves: if we call ourselves disciples, does our life truly resemble Jesus? and we're praying hard, so hard, for a community that challenges us, speaks truth to us (even the not-so-pretty stuff), and sharpens us. whereas i was feeling lost and confused a few weeks ago, there's clarity now. we haven't figured everything out, but, as a team, we're headed in a good direction. and by december 31, 2014, i want to know God more deeply, know the Word more deeply, and know Jesus more deeply. and i'm so excited about it. 

happy new year, friends!

2013 end of year goals

happy friday, friends and happy christmas from our home to yours. i hope you had a special holiday filled with the people and the things you love - it truly is the most wonderful time of the year! 

the end of the year always has a sacred feel about it. as if i'm finishing a marathon and mentally gearing up for a fresh start. honestly, this year has brought about innumerable changes and many challenges. it has been the most exciting year of our life, but at times it has also been the most stressful. as we look back on where we've grown and where we've fallen short, we're praying about changes to make in the new year, changes that will allow us to thrive exactly where God wants us to be. it's going to be a big year, but we're not quite sure what it will look like yet. at the moment, we're a little beat, a little burnt out, and ready for something new. the never-ending busyness is hard to keep up with, you know? we're all about re-evaluating and making new things happen, and that's exactly what we'll be doing in the coming weeks. for now, in the last 4 days of 2013, there are a few things i'd like to tackle and sort away before we ring in 2014 - wish this girl luck! 

end of the year goals: 

have my wedding gown professionally cleaned (it's been hanging in my closet for months now - how does time fly so quickly?!) 

finish wedding thank you's (see above note about time flying and these past few months being stupid busy) 

get on top of our 2013 finances and start the new year fresh

make time for some business planning and create 2014 goals

finish blogging all 2013 sessions

filter through 2013 sessions, sort, delete, and back up

fill out that 2014 calendar

design & mail happy new year cards to friends and clients

slow down, reflect, and prepare for the upcoming year

considering there are only 4 days left in this year, i think that's enough for now. i'm trying to create smaller, more manageable lists and actually accomplish everything i set out to do. often i spend too much time creating a list and then find myself exhausted by task 3 or 4. by the end of the day, i feel unproductive, unaccomplished, and overwhelmed by the things that are left to do. so, here's to using the next 96 hours wisely: getting ish done, making time for quiet and rest, sleeping, spending time with friends, and ringing in the new year! 

2013

this year, i definitely want to blog more - especially considering what a life-changing year this will be! i've always loved journaling, but if there's one thing i lack, it's self-discipline. self-discipline to read regularly, write regularly, spend time with Jesus, exercise, and all of those other disciplines. maybe if i just set aside a little time each day to posting something, made it a part of my routine, i could become better disciplined.

the school semester starts tomorrow, and that overwhelms me a little bit. it's going to be a full course load, plus i'll be writing my thesis, working part-time, putting more energy into Debbie Huber Photography, and planning our wedding. we are also still prayerfully considering how we can serve in church ministry this year. the new year marked our transition out of the college group and into the young adults/young marrieds group at church. not only did we make the move for the sake of moving into deeper fellowship, but also to step back from service a little. a friend of mine told me that T and i are the kind of people who give and give and give, and then we give a little more. the compliment was flattering, but our never-ending list of obligations can also be a danger. as we prepare for our marriage especially, we want to start on a firm foundation, fully present and invested in the next season of our life. we do not want to be burnt out, bitter, or overwhelmed. as much as we love to serve, that requires a very intentional decision to weigh every opportunity carefully.

our word for this year is 'simplify.'

simplify our schedules.
simplify our daily life.
simplify our material possessions.
simplify our responsibilities.

to move away from constant busy-ness and to realign our priorities with God's priorities.

 one of my favorite worship songs says, 'break my heart, for what breaks yours' and every time i sing those words my prayer is that my heart would always be a reflection of His heart.

i would rather be 110% invested in a few things, than serve in a million ways with a half-hearted attitude. it's going to be a hard discipline for us, one that we will have to hold each other accountable on. i am so thankful to be in a relationship where we always make decisions together, where we consult each other on every plan, dream, and opportunity, and then ultimately surrender it to God. T often apologizes for telling me everything on his mind, but i would rather know everything than keep things hidden from one another. it is so important to us that we are always on the same page and always in communication with each other.

my prayer of this first part of 2013 especially is that i would walk in wisdom and peace, that i would surrender every decision and detail to the King and rest in His strength. i pray that these next 7 months would draw T and i even closer to each other, to our family, and to our community so that we would enter into marriage covered in love - our love for one another, for each other, and most of all, for our Jesus. it's going to be an amazing year.