July 1, 2013

countdown // forty-one

this weekend was all kinds of wonderful - even the not-so-wonderful things were made good. 

i think it'd be safe to say that through our engagement we have learned more about each other, disagreed more often, loved more, cried more, and prayed more fervently than ever before. it has not been roses & glitter - but who ever said it would be, or that we were entitled to that? but it has been so good - soul good. good for me, good for you, good for us. 

friday was hard. but it ended sweetly. after the tears dried and we had let go of the stress, hurt, and misunderstanding, we were ready to be filled once again. filled first with HIS unending love. what a wake up call for me - that i often tend to depend on your love or the love of others more than that of our Heavenly Father. i haven't been feeling His love lately, i confessed. it has just felt like test after test. he tests those who he is preparing for big things, you reminded me. i nodded, knowing in my head but not feeling it in my heart. we talked about living a missional life and our mission field - not only across the world but right here, in our home, in our community. when we go out, you said, we prepare ourselves for the mission field - we don't complain, we don't whine, we are flexible and adaptable, we are fully surrendered. our marriage is also a mission, and though it will be sweet and so good, it will also be faced with challenges and obstacles perhaps designed by our Enemy to weaken us, but destined to make us stronger through the grace of our Savior. 

thank you for leading us. 

in my desperate attempt to slow time down and hold on to you before you leave, we also declared sunday a T&D day - a sacred day. a day of adventure and spontaneity. a hike through the woods, the almost fatal injury to my camera, a trip to Trader Joe's for snacks and treats, a late (LATE) movie, watching the sunset in malibu, a drive down PCH, conversations until we had no words left, a starbucks date, dinner at the diner, the good sunday morning...it was perfect. 

oh and hey, i love you. i'll miss you like crazy. 

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