September 18, 2010

insecurity & uncertainty.

i think it's safe to say that the majority of people my age, your typical college student, is desperately looking for answers: what should i major in? is this really the school i should be it? how should i get involved? am i going to meet those life-long friends here? what am i gonna do after i graduate? ...the list goes on and on. i think the greatest question of all though is this:

who am i?

for your average 13-21 year old, these three words are probably as loaded as saying those other "3 little words." as i have coffee chats with friends, or just run into them at school, or pass by and say hey, that constant need to "figure ourselves out" is obvious in each and every person. and sometimes i think that the answer is so simple, we just tend to overlook. we over-analyze, worry, overthink, and doubt ourselves, when the answer is right there in front of our face:

who does GOD want me to be?

and the answer to that is pretty straight-forward, no matter how complicated you think you are. my best friend inspired me with something she wrote recently. in a vulnerable and incredibly honest paper regarding humility, she reminded me of the greatest truth of all: God is the be all and end of all of everything, and we are nothing. this is not to say that God doesn't care for us, or belittle us. He is not the "big man upstairs" who holds us all by our puppet strings. He is the only person who loves unconditionally, loves constantly, and loves perfectly. why then is it so hard for us to believe that? to trust it?

i see insecurity, that self-doubt in countless faces. in fact, that is normal. to see completely confidence and peace? that, is rare. and that is what i strive for. those people who know who they are, not because of their appearance, or their talent, or their other assets, but because they know who GOD intended them to be. and even if they don't have it all figured out yet, there is complete peace & freedom in the ability to completely hand your life over to the only One you should trust it with.

people disappoint. they fail. they fall. they. are. human. and the majority are all still incredibly unsure of their own lives. why then do we spend so much time looking for their approval? for me, it's never the people who "seem to have it all" who impress me, it's the people who may not have it all, don't care, and live with authenticity. those are the people that inspire me.

i donno, i guess what i'm trying to say is that too often we second guess ourselves, or our plans, instead of just surrendering and then stepping out in faith. i know it's cliche : be true to yourself, don't change, believe in yourself. but i look at it like this : be true to who God designed you to be, don't try to change that person, and believe that He has the best plan for your life in store. if He knew you since before you were even born, then why doubt what He has intended for your life? he knew you were gonna meet that girl, or that guy. he knew that you would choose where you wanted to go to school. he has it all set up. so live in it, revel in it.

i'm sure he has plenty of curveballs up ahead, but the one thing that won't change is His perfect and complete love for us. that, you can count on. that, will never fail.

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